It's easy to determine if you have what it takes to be a successful network executive. Simply answer the following question: What would you title a fact-based movie about a mother who suffered total amnesia after being hit by a car?

A. "The Emotional and Physiological Effects of Amnesia."

B. "A House Full of Strangers."

C. "Stranger in My Bed."

If you paused before going for the groin, your general future looks promising but you can forget about a job in TV. If the topic of amnesia intrigues you, however, by all means tune in "Stranger in My Bed" tonight at 9 on Channel 4. It's an opportunity to see Lindsay Wagner in full-tilt emote. The movie probably should have been called "Stranger on My Couch," which is where hubby Armand Assante is sent to sleep when the mildly hysterical Wagner comes home from the hospital with total unrecall.

Both Wagner and Assante deliver first-rate performances-no small feat considering the material they have to work with. Assante (best known for his performance as Goldie Hawn's errant French lover in "Private Benjamin") is totally believable as a tough-talking construction worker complete with Don Johnson-style 'do. And Wagner makes the most of her scenes, which send her spinning from wide-eyed stares to convulsive sobs and back again.

The script can be commended for refusing to simplify matters by depicting one spouse as saintly and the other as boorish. However, the writers are so eager to show us these characters' flaws that initially it's hard to find a reason to care about either one. It doesn't help that our only sense of the life Wagner's lost comes from a silly voice-over narrative during the opening credits.

For the few who do hang in there long enough, a couple of nice moments should leave the audience rooting for this poor family. Of particular note is the heartwarmer where Wagner shows her daughter (scene-stealer Alyson Court) the dance steps she learned in therapy sessions at the hospital.

But the actors never really have a chance. In the first minutes of the movie, Wagner's doctor tells Assante what to expect as a result of his wife's brain damage. "She'll probably be a lot more outgoing and uninhibited," he warns. It is only a matter of time before the Sex Factor rears its ugly head.

Wagner chops off her locks, buys some funky clothes and, before you can say ratings, pops the question while lunching with her mom. "What does it feel like to make love with a man you're not in love with?" she asks. "I want those feelings, Mom."

Sure you do, Lindsay. They're just what concerns every amnesia victim who can't even remember what food groups should be eaten in what order.

Enter Doug Sheehan as a swingin' single who listens to Wagner's plight and comes up with a truly original line to comfort her. "You're seeing a whole new world, everything is bright and fresh, and anybody who's with you gets to see it again for the first time through your eyes." What's your sign, Doug?

Mercifully, Sheehan's character is never fully developed. Yet it does make it difficult to see him as a playboy, especially after his four-year stint as "General Hospital's" achingly honest Joe Kelly and his current tenure as "Knots Landing's" revoltingly sincere Ben Gibson. Actually, Sheehan should have been listed as a technical adviser, since both Gibson's and Kelly's girlfriends also suffered bouts of amnesia.

If this movie sounds familiar even before you've watched it, it's not just because the soaps have at least one character suffering from this disease on any given day. "Stranger" was heavily promoted in October before being preempted by the seventh game of the World Series.

But the Mets weren't the only winners in October. Viewers were spared yet another in a seemingly endless series of "fact-based dramas." Apparently the networks have lost what little imagination they once had and eschew original stories, preferring to adapt real-life dramas. If this keeps up much longer, we won't have to watch the news.